When The Stars Go Blue

With the CMT Artist Awards coming up I have been listening to some different duo bands like Thompson Square, Trailer Choir, Gloriana, Love and Theft. But then I also started listening to people I have been listening to forever, but haven't listened to in a long time.. Like Montgomery Gentry and Big & Rich..


When you think back to when you were little.. who or what songs come to mind?

 For me its always going to be Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith, and even Montgomery Gentry. Its always going to be Tim McGraw.. forever and ever when I think back to my childhood, Tim McGraw will always have a spot in the memories. Driving down the road on family trips singing "Live Like You Were Dying" louder than the radio and seeing who can sing the last "dying" the longest.. Logan always had the longest breath and it drove me crazy that he was the only one who could sing the whole thing with out taking a breath.

For some reason I remember singing "When The Stars Go Blue" with my mom and then asking her what it meant when it said "Laughing with your broken eyes..". I even remember watching the music video on GAC.. Isn't it weird how those things will stick with ya for ever?

Now I wounder what will be stamped in the time we are in now! Years from now, when we think back.. what memories will we think of? What songs will we remember?

I hope is Blake Shelton.. ;)

Lynz

Shape I'm In

The sun came up again this morning,
I took my old fastback for a spin.

Now when it rains it ain’t always pouring

and I’m learning how to live again

Yea I’m doin alright,
I’m doin alright,
I’m doin alright for the shape I’m in.

Lynz

Thats When You Know You've Made It Over To the Other Side

I am so excited to start writing again.  Its been a long time. Everyone knows that I over think almost every situation that I run into.. but I was thinking about why I haven't been writing lately.. and that got me thinking about what changed that would cause me to not have the need to write.. and then that got me thinking about why I started writing in the first place.

I started this blog because I felt like there was no happiness in my life! I felt like I needed to appreciate the little things that make life what it is. But really this blog just turned into poor mans therapy. I started writing my feelings out in the little white box.. the more I wrote, the more I had to write. Clicking "Publish" was one of the most liberating feelings..

But all of a sudden I quit writing.. Why?

Six months ago I cried, what seemed like, ALL the time. Six months ago it seemed like there was no end. Six months ago I felt desperate. Six months ago everything was dramatic and spilled milk was the end of the world!

I still don't know exactly what changed.. but I can't specifically remember the last time I cried. I can't remember the last time I thought life wasn't worth living.. Oh wait! That was earlier today when I remembered that I have a dentist appointment Friday! ;)

I give power to what ever I give power to. Instead of focusing on how crazy Hank is, and how terrible it is living with him sometimes.. I've just decided that the situation I'm in is the situation I am in. I'm not going to change it. Hank is going to drink. He is going to be Bipolar. He is going to be unreliable.  He isn't ever going to treat me like I'm special. (Not that I want to be treated like I'm special..) But once you stop letting it matter.. it loses all its power over you.

Instead of sitting around thinking of how I WISH things would go. How I WISH they would have went. Sitting around thinking about things I have NO control over. Instead of butting heads with Hank.. trying to fix him. Or expecting anything from him. I just except it.I haven't given up hope in him or given up hope in finding a kidney, but instead of waiting for something that may never happen.. I'm just gonna learn to live with what we have.

And maybe I'll never 100% "ok" with it. Maybe I'll never get over it. Maybe I'll always have the fear and anger somewhere inside of me towards it.

Butt calls from the bar. Empty beer can stash. Lies. Yelling. Its got nothing on me.

Its so liberating.

I've felt like I was getting better other times before.. But this is different. I seriously feel like its all gonna be fine.. one way or another.

"When that time of the year
Don't stir up tears anymore.
When it don't feel like,
the past is a gun,
And there's no where,
to run anymore."

"That's when you know its over.
That's when you know you've made it,
Over to the other side.
Ready for another ride.
That's when you know its over!"


Lynz

Assembly Day 1

Hey guys!! Its been so long since I posted anything, Y'all probably forgot about this thing I got goin on here! :P Well I'm back and I gots stuff to talk about!! :)

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to assembly this weekend. I just wanted to stay home in my warm comfy bed in my dark room.. but no. I had to get up early and get dressed up and drive to Duluth.. then fight my way through all these people to try and find seats.. and then fight myself to try and stay awake all day..

What a bad attitude!!!! Assembly is NEVER a disappointment!! I have made the goal to Regular Pioneer the year of 2014! But regular pioneering is scary to think about. What if I can't do it? What if I don't want to do it? I realize that by relying and trusting in Jehovah I will be able to do it! And not only will I have Jehovah with me all the time to help me, but I will have the support of the friends! Going to assembly just helps me to realize that! When everyone stands to sing a song and we all clap after the session is over.. its almost overwhelming and I feel so so appreciative and privileged that I get to be part of this worldwide family!!

And how awesome is it to see friends that you don't get to see often?? I got to see the Nelsons (Dan and Tara) who I haven't talked to in FOREVER!! I love them so much and it was so so so awesome to see them!! I actually miss them so much!! And I got to meet a study of a sister in our congregation who came! It was so nice to see her enjoying the sessions so much!! And speaking of studies.. there were lots of studies at assembly today! Its neat to see studies dress up.. or try to at least! To see them make an effort! Its just so so so encouraging!!

Can't wait for tomorrow!!!

Lynz